Becoming Your True Self

Knowing your true self can also make you re-assess your strengths and weaknesses, which may help you along your journey.

With acute body awareness and mind focus, you begin to train yourself to pay greater attention to what is happening in your body, in your mind, as well as in your perceptions of others and of the world around you. In other words, it is your deliberate and purposeful intention to bring more being into your own life experiences. According to research studies, mindfulness of your being is instrumental in helping you cope with your everyday problems, look after your physical health, let go of your undesirable patterns of thinking and behavior, and relate to others with better understanding and greater compassion.  In other words, awareness and focus may bring about the miracle of being, which is now your new perception of your true self—who you really are, and not what you wish you were. Your new being is the outcome of your becoming from where you were.

An Illustration of Becoming

There was ancient Chinese fable of a stonecutter who worked so hard cutting stones that he often felt stressed and depressed.

One day, while standing behind a huge stone where he was cutting his stones, he looked up at the sky, and saw the beautiful sun. Then, he wished he were the sun that could give warmth and sunshine to everyone on earth. A fairy came to him and granted him his wish, so he became the sun.

For a while, he was happy and contented. Then, one day, a big cloud came over, blocked out everything from his view, and he could not even see what was below. He became distressed, and wished he were the cloud, instead of the sun. Again, the fairy came to his rescue, and granted him his wish. He became the cloud, and began drifting and floating happily and peacefully in the sky.

After a while, a strong wind came and scattered the cloud in many different directions. Now, he wished he were the strong wind that could blow away anything and everything that stood in his way. Again, the fairy made his wish come true: he became the strong wind, blowing here and there. For a while, he was happy and contented.

Then, one day, he found that he could not blow away the big stone behind which he used to cut stones in the past. Worse, he was stuck there at the big stone, and going nowhere at all.

Now, finally, he realized that was where he belonged, and where he was supposed to be.

He made his one last wish to become the stonecutter that he used to be. The fairy granted him his last wish, and now he was contented to be the stonecutter again.

The moral of the fable: comparison and contrast between the self and others is often a stumbling block to self-contentment, without which there is no self-discovery, which is the ultimate enlightenment. Self-acceptance is self-love—accepting yourself as who you are in spite of all your shortcomings and imperfections, without comparing and contrasting with others. Letting go of your ego-self is detaching yourself from all your attachments that may ultimately become the sources of your miseries and sufferings in your life.

Remember, all human attachments come in the form of many different stressors in life, and are often the stumbling blocks in the human quest for true human wisdom because they create many delusions and illusions for the thinking mind.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Self-Efficacy in the Now

Believing in yourself is self-efficacy. Believing in yourself is confidence in your own ability, knowing what you have to do to win or simply to get what you want in life. Self-efficacy is a present state of mind, which means you don't look back at the past, especially your past failures or imperfections 

Believing in yourself is one of the first steps to success in doing anything that becomes the very substance of your confidence. To have confidence, you must set goals, and achieving your goals helps you build more confidence.

The only stumbling block to believing in yourself is your inability to achieve: some of your goals at some points in your life. This stumbling block may create negativity in the form of victimization. In other words, you may find you are a victim of circumstances; this may also lead to bitterness, despair, or even anger.

One of the reasons why sometimes you don’t have self-efficacy is your past. You could have been haunted by your past failures that generated regrets, bitterness, and disappointments that you have not been able to let go of. Attachment to the past is always a stumbling block to moving ahead.

The Wisdom of Letting Go

The wisdom of letting go shows you how to use the ancient Tao wisdom from China to live in the present moment, and, more importantly, to let go of the past. With both  human wisdom and spiritual wisdom from the Bible, you may start believing in yourself again. With self-efficacy, you can do anything at any stage of your life, and the sky is the limit. 

Learn to live in the NOW, which is the only reality: the past was gone and the future is yet to come. Living in the NOW enables you to do what needs to be done for future success.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With the Wind said at the end of the movie: “Tomorrow is another day.”

                      

As a parent, you may want to make plans for you children. But the most important thing is to enjoy them. There is so much enjoyment teaching them everything, such as how to read.

Yes, tomorrow is another day, but that day may or may never come. Fortunately or unfortunately, we always choose to believe that it will come. Fortunately in that it may give us hope and expectation; unfortunately in that it may divorce ourselves from the realities of life, making us less grateful of the present or less thankful of what we already have.

But living in the now is exemplary of the consciousness of being. Today is now, and mindfulness of the present is realization not only that tomorrow is another day but also that it might never come. This mental consciousness may make you aware that you are precious and unique because now you have become fully awake. Living in the now means asking yourself mind-searching questions: What do I need to know now? What do I need to love now? What do I need to be grateful for now? In short, today provides the compass and road map for your life journey, which might abruptly end tomorrow.  

Living in the now is easier said than done because the human mind has a tendency to focus on the past or to project itself into the future, but seldom stays in the present.

Our actions or inactions are derived and driven by our thoughts and memories of our past experiences. If those experiences were negative, our conscious and subconscious mind will tell us to avoid them in the future; on the other hand, if they are positive, they tend to instruct us to repeat them in the future. Accordingly, the human mind will constantly shuffle between the past and the future. As a result, it seldom stays in the present moment. To illustrate, while talking on the cell phone, how often do we talk about what happened or what we are going to do next? If we think more deeply, the subject of our conversation mostly involves mostly the past or the future. In a worse scenario, many of us are talking or texting while driving, in other words, our mental focus is certainly not on the now—which is driving our car.

Mindfulness is your purposeful attention to the present moment. This purposeful attention enables you to recognize your thoughts as they occur, but without paying judgmental attention to them; in other words, they neither distract nor disturb you, and you just observe them objectively, like watching a movie about yourself unfolding before your very eyes.

To train your mind to focus more on the present, concentrate on your breathing. Most of us are totally unaware of our breaths, unless we are short of breath after running or climbing stairs, or due to some medical conditions. Concentration on how you breathe in and breathe out, as well as your body’s sensations during the inhalation and exhalation trains you to develop mindfulness. Understand that your body is yours only, and it is always with you. Finding the moment-by-moment relationship with your body through your breathing is your pathway to wellness of the body, the mind, and the soul.

According to the TAO, always live in the now, and tomorrow is just another day yet to come.

THE POWER OF NOW

WHEREVER YOU GO THERE YOU ARE

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Role of Spiritual Wisdom

The Role of Spiritual Wisdom

If you believe in God, your soul is your spiritual connection and communication with Him in the form of your daily prayers, moments of self-awakening, and occasional divine guidance and inspiration from Him.

If you do not have a specific religion, but still believe in the control of a Being greater than yourself, your soul or spirit is your understanding of the unexplainable control and the natural cycle of all things—that is, certain things in life are beyond human control, and certain things follow a natural cycle or order, such as the cycle of the four seasons, and that life is inevitably followed by death.

If you are a non-believer, but still a decent human being, your soul or spirit is your conscience, which intuitively tells you what is right and wrong, and not just merely following the law and order of your country.

Therefore, in several different ways, we may all have a soul or spirit of some sort, although some of us may separate ourselves from it, either consciously or unconsciously. The soul or spirit is like a shadow of ourselves: sometimes we see more of it, and other times we see less of it, but it is always part and parcel of us, following us wherever we go like a shadow, whether we like it or not.

Your soul may provide you with spiritual wisdom. As opposed to materiality, spirituality is something invisible and immeasurable, but is forever present and lasting. It is like the wind—invisible and yet palpable. It provides guidance, direction, and understanding to the mind. Spirituality may also take the form of love, joy, and peace, and it is often expressed in human actions and behaviors.

Materiality, on the other hand, is always visible, measurable, but is forever transient. Humans need both spirituality and materiality to survive: the former to understand self, and the latter to understand the world and the universe around self. Spirituality not only inspires the mind but also energizes the body—it is a body-mind-soul connection necessary for the miracle of life and living.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Be Better, Happier, and Wiser

Be Better, Happier, and Wiser

Living in this chaotic material world has much to do with order, which is a basic principle of the universe, without which chaos develops. To live well, you need to get your life in order; that is, you must align yourself with the principles of the universe. The first and foremost principle of the universe is alignment with the Creator of the universe. Once you have that alignment, you get faith that gives you spiritual strength.

Research studies have shown that people with a religious belief tend to get sick less often and get better faster than those with much less religious faith. Dr. Herbert Benson (Harvard Medical School) attributes this to the faith factor in his book Beyond the Relaxation.

Faith gives you peace of mind, which plays a pivotal role in longevity because peace of mind is the antidote to stress that often shortens life. To live longer, you need to de-stress yourself. But life is never easy, and living in this modern world is always challenging and stressful. 

To have faith in God is another aspect of living that may eliminate much stress in everyday life. However, living for a Christian; just like any other non-believer, you face the same challenge along your life journey. The only difference is that with faith you may transcend the limitations and losses that inevitably come with old age, as well as the difficulties and disappointments encountered in everyday life struggle. “All things work together for good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to His purpose.” Your life becomes purposeful, and living, despite its many setbacks, has a divine goal. Faith may help you overcome the many tragedies that may come with life and old age.

If you have faith, you live longer. The reason is simple: you take better care of your body because: your body is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).

If you have faith, you most probably belong to a church, and you may enjoy fellowship with other like-minded believers. Fellowship plays a pivotal role in alleviating loneliness, which is a serious problem among the elderly. Albert Einstein had to say about loneliness: “It’s strange to be known universally, and yet to be so lonely. St. Augustine wrote in his classic work The Confessions of St. Augustine, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find peace in You.”

If you are a believer, most probably you also actively involved in church activities after your retirement. Involvement with people with all ages holds the key to successful aging because you express your compassion and loving-kindness to others. By doing so, you also develop empathy, which is experiencing the feelings and emotions of others; in the process; you learn to appreciate what you have, and make the most of what you have left to help others. 

TAO The Way to Biblical Wisdom: This book is about using human wisdom to understand God’s wisdom so that you may live in this material world as if everything is a miracle.

The Book of Life and Living shows you the blueprint of living in this material world based on the ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu (an ancient sage from China), conventional wisdom, and spiritual wisdom, so that you may  become better, happier, and wiser.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Happiness Is Body-Mind-Soul Alignment

Happiness is a state of mind, and it is all in the mind. The mind plays a pivotal role in controlling the body living in the physical world, making its daily choices and decisions y that may ultimately affect both the body and the mind. Your soul supervises the mind. In other words, the body, the mind, and the soul need to be in balance and harmony with one another; that is, they must be in alignment, so that you may live as if everything is a miracle.

We all pursue happiness in our lives. However, happiness always seems elusive, evasive, and unattainable. The word "happiness" is a term difficult to define because it is very much individualized. But genuine human happiness comes from the alignment of the body, the mind, and the soul in the physical world with balance and harmony.

Stephen Lau

The Science of Happiness about Career

The Science of Happiness about Career

According to scientific research, your career role in society affects where you may fall on the happiness spectrum. For example, according to several research studies, the top five happiest careers are: clergymen or pastors, firefighters, architects, film actors and directors, and air pilots; the top five least happy careers are: gas-station attendants, roofers, molding-machine operators, construction workers, and welfare service aides.

So, the career choice of an individual may ultimately play a role in the happiness or unhappiness of that individual.

But career may also involve workaholism—more to be done, or the forever-next-task mindset. According to Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert of Harvard University, most people spend only 50 percent of their time on the present moment; but the truth is that only when we are in the present moment that we are also the happiest. Therefore, according to the science of happiness, delayed happiness or happier-later is not true happiness.

The bottom line: do not overwork yourself, and multitasking is always not the way to go for happiness. Staying in the present moment enables you to fully enjoy and experience all the things that are going on around you, giving you more concentration and creating better relationships that are predictors of success and happiness in whatever you are doing right now. Imagine you are texting while eating your favorite dish or talking to someone who is dear to you.

According to the science of happiness, big corporate companies are now providing their staff with free sessions on breathing exercise, mindfulness, and meditation to enhance the work performance of their staff, which is focusing on the present moment.

Remember:

Happiness is joy in the now, rather than later, so live in the present. Choose a career you enjoy doing, not one that will make you happy later.

Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau