Different Personalities for Happiness or
Unhappiness
“The ‘self-image’ is
the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you
change the personality and the behavior.” Maxwell
Maltz
Your “thinking” mind is responsible for
creating not only your so-called “realities” based on your perceptions of your
life experiences, but also your personality, which also plays a pivotal role in
your living in a world of depression.
It is your human nature to identify
yourself with your thoughts created by your thinking mind. This identity begins
to relate to more thoughts, both past and present, as well as their projections
into the future as desires and expectations. These accumulative thoughts begin
to take shape and form your ego-self. which all
of us have, because it is the identity that separates and distinguishes us from
others.
Your ego-self, which is formed by your thoughts, often become your
attachments. Too many attachments to your ego-self may become problematic,
leading to depression.
The Unhappy Personality
There are those who are forever unhappy due to an unhappy childhood, an
unfulfilled adult life, and many unhappy life experiences throughout their life
journey. They have made indelible imprints on their minds, making them see only
the problems, instead of the potentials ahead of them. They do not want to
live, but they just do not die. Not wanting or knowing how to purposely end
their lives, they just drift on, or simply live a reckless life in hope of an
early demise.
They have suffered and gone through too much in their lives. They do
not know how to cope with their life problems and how to deal with their life
challenges. They have despaired and become helpless, and depression is their
only escape from the realities they strive to avoid. They are forever the
unhappy ones because unhappiness has become their brain chemicals.
The Neither-Happy-Nor-Unhappy
Personality
There are those who have always been only spectators, instead of
participants, of life; they are forever sitting on the sidelines of life,
observing others and never thinking that they could be a part of it. They
always believe that life is not worth taking chances because their minds have
been filled with many assumptions that they are not competent enough to get involved.
Inactivity and passivity play a major role in their lives. They may not like
their current situations, but they do not know how and where to start to change
them. Even if they have the know-how, they do not want to do it, or unless
someone else would do it for them. Life is too much for them; they just stay
back and stay put, not taking any chance or exerting any effort, while they try
to get by with whatever they have. They never see the need to take the
initiative to create a better life for themselves.
If they just do not die, they just carry on with their lives with
different episodes of high and low, always wondering why they do not have what
they wish they had, or why others are always having what they are not having.
The To-Be-Happy Personality
There are those who are always in quest of happiness. They have the
problematic mindset of “better” and “more” in their endless quest for careers,
relationships, and material comforts that have become the sole objectives of
their personal happiness. Their to-be-happiness just keeps them always wanting
“better” and “more” in order to feel happy or happier.
The Happy Personality
There are those who have the wisdom to understand that true happiness
requires both action and effort, that happiness is only a moment-to-moment
feeling, and that happiness never lasts.
Indeed, happiness is feeling good about oneself, and it requires
one to take some actions in order to feel good about oneself. It should be
pointed out that elated feelings, such as happiness, satisfaction, and
fulfillment, are not the natural and normal resting states of the human mind;
therefore, one must take a deliberate action in order to achieve and
activate those innate mental states. The only explanation is that our ancestors
in the Stone Age did not naturally or instinctively feel comfortable, secure,
and satisfied with their status quo. They certainly did not pass those genes on
to us. They had to fight to survive; by the same token, we all must make a conscious
effort to take some actions in order to feel good, happy, and satisfied.
Remember, true human happiness is a process, a way of living, involving
some actions to change the consciousness of thinking. It is no more than the
ability to experience joy when good things happen; the ability to feel
satisfaction when goals are achieved; the ability to cope with problems, the
ability to adapt to changes, and the ability to give meaning and purpose to
life.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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